JAVA A GO’GO

 

The one thing the Aged Rocker guarantees it’s that if you pay him a visit you’ll get a cup of proper coffee. Fresh ground and made fresh, the heady aroma of Columbian, Sumatran, Latin or Italian ground wafting around the AR’s lair. Another thing the AR guarantees is that you won’t find any of that puerile instant muck lurking in a cupboard, coffee extract and decaf the Devil’s spawn! I ask you, what’s the point of drinking coffee that doesn’t have a kick like a stunned donkey? None whatsoever!

 

But not even the old AR can conjure up a hot pot of Java in the middle of nowhere or can he? With Minipresso GR in his back sack, a super smooth blast of espresso can be created absolutely anywhere and with minimal effort. So here’s how it works and unlike numerous other gadgets the Minipresso doesn’t need plugging in, recharging or exposing to sunlight. The only things you need in addition to the small handheld device are some ground coffee and boiling water which you can carry in a small flask or from the traveling kettle you’ve plugged into your car’s 12v outlet.

 

Remove the cup, unscrew what’s called the outlet head and remove the filter basket. Fill the basket with ground coffee using the scoop provided and gently tamp it down. Place the basket in the filter head and screw them both back onto the main body of the Minipresso. Then remove the water tank located at the other end, fill to the line with boiling water and push back into place.

 

All you then need to do is release piston on the side, place the cup beneath the spout and pump. The first six piston pumps prime it all the following six or seven forcing the water through the coffee and out into the waiting cup. End result, a perfect single espresso! Yes, you will have to clean the Minipresso but that takes less than a minute with clean water and a paper towel.

 

Much to the AR’s surprise this real coffee drinker’s gizmo actually works. It’s easy, simple, pleasant to use, looks good, is nicely made, exceeds expectations and unlike similar gadgets, doesn’t leak. So many thanks to Wacaco, their Minipresso machine and the coffee Gods their collective forces meaning real coffee drinkers and the AR in particular can have a cup of Joe whenever and wherever they feel the need.

 

So do like the Aged Rocker and get in touch with Bear & Bear at www.bearandbear.com and part with £48 of your hard earned pounds.    

 

 

CUP O’ JOE

 

If you’re anything like the Aged Rocker, endless hours of pounding the now archaic miles of the UK motorways results in two things. Incredulity at the sheer inefficiency of this country’s road networks when compared to the rest of Europe and a steady supply of coffee contained within those horrendous wax paper cups. The thing that really annoys isn’t so much the price of your caffeine laced beverage it’s the fact you’ve actually had to pay to drink out of a piece of crap that has whichever outlet’s name on it. In other words you’re paying them to advertise their wares.

 

 

Well there are a bit of good news for us weary coffee drinkers or even them that sup tea or whatever it is that floats your boat and it’s called a Stojo or Stowaway Joe. Weighing 4.4oz and at its widest 3.5” this coffee cup is about as portable as it gets. Constructed from a thick, ribbed, neoprene type rubber the cup concertinas out to form a 12oz cup complete with a solid neck, screw on top with sealable mouthpiece and a collar that slides into place to protect your fingers from heat. And when you’ve chugged back you’re Americano or latte, wipe it out, remove the collar and the cup collapses back into itself. Big enough to hold a medium sized cup of coffee yet small enough to go in your jacket pocket or stow in a glovebox or centre console, the Stojo will once and for all do away with the paper cups that end up clogging your drinks holders or rolling round the car.

  

Better still its not just some garbage gadget, the Stojo really does work. It doesn’t leak, its sturdy, it keeps your drink hot, it doesn’t get your fingers scalded, it packs and unpacks in seconds, is easy to keep clean, it’s hygienic, it fits neatly in a cup holder, it looks good and its not a paper cup with bloody great logo plastered on the sides. So what more do you want? Then do like the Aged Rocker and go get your own Stojo.

 

 

To get your hands on your own Stojo that’ll cost you about£14-99p go visit Bear & Bear at www.bearandbear.com     

4 ON THE FLOOR

 

What’s should only have two wheels but has four? The Quadro4 that’s what, the new four-wheeled scooter designed in Switzerland and if the Swiss like ‘em there can’t be anything at all wrong with them. Let’s face it the Swiss aren’t exactly keen on anything with an internal combustion engine; it plays havoc with their cuckoo clocks so it seems. The other up side to a scooter with four wheels is that you can ride it on a car driving license since the Quadro4 has……oh yeh, four wheels!

 

 

 

 

Invited to give one a whirl by Hayley over at DTM Panther Trikes at Liversedge in Yorkshire, the Aged Rocker was greeted by the pleasures of a spring morning, snow, hail, ice, rain and sub-zero temperatures which all added up to the briefest of test rides. Best known for converting Honda Goldwings, Harley-Davidsons and other big bruiser bikes into three-wheeled masterpieces, Hayley and her dad have now added the Quadro range to their portfolio which means both the 3 and the 4 are now available. However, it didn’t alter the fact that the Quadro4 is a serious piece of kit which for just under nine grand has some serious potential as economical daily transport or an enjoyable and seriously different source of weekend touring entertainment.

 

 

 

 

Described by its makers as the first SUV or Safe Utility Vehicle, this ‘twist-and-go’ scooter provides the rider with the unique Hydraulic Tilt System which means it banks over by up to forty-five degrees when cornering. In other words, it rides like a scooter but in many ways handles like a bike but with twice the amount of grip. You can even fit an adventure pack and 110/80x14 snow tyres to the alloy rims, something you can’t do with the two-wheeled options.

 

 

 

Power and believe me when I say there’s plenty of it comes from a liquid cooled 346cc single-cylinder engine, the 4-stroke, 4-valve engine mounted within the scooter’s steel frame directly beneath the rider. Kicking out 30hp and 24.5Nm of torque, all the rider has to do is twist the right-hand grip and off it goes with far more gusto than at first expected. Petrol from the 14 litre tank is fed via electronic fuel injection whilst the CVT transmission and dual-drive belt system means the bike takes care of the gear changes; all you have to do is ride it.

 

Hydraulic vented disc brakes all round take care of the retardation whilst the hydro-pneumatic tilting suspension front and rear take care of the bumps, bangs and potholes. And at just 2,180mm long and 800mm wide it takes up less space than one of Yorkshire’s famous puddings whilst the step-through design and 770mm seat height means if you’ve over indulged in said Yorkshire delicacy you won’t have any problems climbing on board.

 

 

 

 

The other striking ability of the Quadro4 is that it stands up all of its own accord whilst it even has a handbrake. All you have to do once behind the handlebars is disengage the brake and release the lever that allows the Quadro4 to tilt. Turn the key, press the starter and twist the right grip is all you need to do get underway, something even the AR managed. Right grip lever does the front brakes, the one of the left grip deploying restrain to all four corners. And if you don’t fancy that the pedal under the rider’s right foot does the exact same job. Please do note though, with the tilting mechanism in play you will need to put a foot down when you come to a halt. But with the wheels straight and the left brake lever pulled, the system temporarily disengages and you can sit with your feet on the foot plates…but don’t let go of the lever!

  

 

 

The instruments are clear enough for a brief glance to tell you just how fast you’re going, the minimal switchgear easy to use whilst the ‘King & Queen’ seat offers plenty of room and comfort for two riders. There’s even a small cubby beneath the seat to stow small items   

Available in a wide variety of just four eye catching colours including the Swiss Red as seen here, you can choose from Snow White, (dwarves optional), Raw Black and Titanium Grey along with a whole host of additional options. Top boxes, wind deflectors, hand protectors and a larger screen are just some of the extras you can lavish on your Quadro4. But whatever you decide on, the best bit of the factory fit options is style. The Quadro4 really does look good and when you take into account the dramatic amount of extra grip the extra pair of wheels and tilting system add you’ll quickly appreciate just how advanced and rider friendly the Quadro4 actually is.

 

A bike that seriously impressed the Aged Rocker, to have a good look round a Quadro4 for yourself give Hayley a bell at DTM Panther Trikes on 01924 235655 or email them at info@dtbpanthertrikes.co.uk

DOES IT WORK……

 

If you study the various reports the wonderful world of modern medicine will confidently tell you that TCM or Traditional Chinese Medicine more or less doesn’t work. Well if it didn’t work there’s every chance that it wouldn’t have lasted for over two thousand years. Over in China, modern or western medicine has become the preserve of the wealthy the use of traditional methods considered something that the older folks or the less well off still use. In other words, modern medicine especially in China has become the fashionable way to get better.

 

 

Granted, if you break a bone or need a joint replacing then modern methods work a treat since there’s no Old Chinese equivalent. But for lesser ailments and muscle problems its TCM that has from my perspective untold benefits. If you’ve got back or a headache, IBS or anything similar, jacking up on pain killers is all well and good but the thing is the problem hasn’t actually gone away, it’s just that you can’t feel it anymore. Add in the fact that painkillers in any great quantity rip your guts apart and that you’ll have to keep finding stronger and stronger doses and its more or less testament to the fact whatever ails you has gone anywhere.

 

 

Taking me the Aged Rocker as a prime example confirming that I’m more aged than even I thought, due to a racing accident in my mid-20’s that jarred my back and years of doing a variety of daft things, there’s a joint in my spine that locks up. Not only has this caused the onset of mild arthritis something that’s also starting to appear in my right elbow and thumb, the locking causes the muscles to tighten up in an effort to protect said joint. The end result is back and neck pain that numerous osteopaths have tried in vein to cure.

 

 

It was during a conversation with straight talking Yorkshireman and an ex-member of the SAS that an unusual question was asked and that was ‘Have you ever seen a Chinaman?’ Certainly I have, folk from China aren’t exactly a rarity. Next statement was ‘But have you ever been to see a Chinese osteopath?’ to which my answer was no. Osteopathy is osteopathy is it not? It seems however not to be, the curative powers of the Chinese practitioners way in excess of their western counterparts. The difference so it seems is most conventional osteopaths practice a form of relaxing osteopathy whilst the Chinese apply the old style restorative and therapeutic version.   

 

 

And so it came to be, a visit to Dr. Xionghua Chen started me on the path to a pain free back, monthly or six weekly visits ensuring that my spine and the muscles around it don’t inflict pain anymore. The other aspect is that no pills or portions are or have been required. Like Chen whilst these Chinese guys work all over the world, they’ve nearly all studied and qualified back in China, gaining the necessary qualifications a hard path to follow.

 

 

Now if your chosen Chinese osteopath is worthy of the title such as Chen the first step is the initial interview to ascertain exactly what’s up with you and the course of treatment that will be needed. But even as I walked into the surgery and across to the desk, Chen had already made at least fifty percent of his diagnosis. Five minutes later he jammed his thumb into my back just next to my right shoulder blade and the pain and stiffness vanished. Reason being a nerve that is situated behind where five muscles intersect was being constantly triggered which in turn meant the actual muscles had developed a new, contorted memory.

 

 

Although it took six consecutive weeks of treatment along with the regular visits, the nerve was effectively returned to normal service; the muscles relaxed and reeducated the end result being the end of back pain. Massage used in conjunction with acupuncture where the insertion of these small needles link up the body’s natural meridians and energy points, the combined outcome is a genuine physical revelation. And whilst some so called learned bodies claim acupuncture hasn’t the slightest effect, they’ve probably been fortunate enough to never have to call on the talents of people like Dr. Chen.   

Likewise, more gentle treatment to elbow and thumb now means they operate as normal, just the occasional exercises keeping all three now potential problems at bay. Interestingly the natural penetrating oils used can also be employed to reduce stiffness after walking or riding a motorbike, the effects instant. Better still, if you call into any Chinese osteopath they’ll be willing and able to provide you with a bottle at a more than reasonable cost.

But it doesn’t end there when it comes to TCM, herbal shampoos and creams that clear up skin complaints within a matter of days and cough remedies that besides being pleasant to take really do work and once again no unpleasant smells or side effects. And if its general aches and pains you can even head into your nearest supermarket, both red and green Tiger Balm nearly always on the shelves. Similarly, the herbal remedy to cue IBS, two days after taking the recommended dosage of the small pills, the problem vanished. Yet again the modern TV advertised cures doing nothing more than dull the pain and relaxing the gut muscles instead of flushing out what’s causing the problem. So does TCM actually work, the answer much to the annoyance of many is a resounding yes!

The one fallacy is ginseng, for years marketed as an ancient form of Viagra. In total there are seven varieties of ginseng the most common being the two Panax strains from either Asia and Korea or America, whilst this famous root derived herbal supplement is supposed to improve matters in the trouser department, it ain’t instant. It takes an eighteen week course for any effect to even start to take place so if you’re in need of it, plan early! The upside of ginseng is ginseng plays a beneficial role in the regulation of liver function, improves blood sugar management which is why many diabetics use it and is a natural combatant of stress and mood swings whilst it has a very positive effect on enhancing calmness and memory retention.   

As regards seeing real Chinese osteopaths expect to pay around £60 for the initial interview and treatment and then about £40 thereon with the added bonus that most private health insurance policies will recompense the patient. Even doctors are now starting to understand and suggest that where their modern treatments and drugs have only worked to a degree or even failed completely, Chinese treatments may well be the answer. Interestingly, as the treatment has continued so has my interest in some of the history and some of the other herbal offerings. One of the best daily treatments is Chinese tea, the almost infinite variations all able to cleanse the system, all you need do is ask which will be best for you. Similarly, friends and colleagues suffering from various aches and pains have asked me if the treatment works and could I make them an appointment. Guess what? They too are now regular patients at Dr. Chen’s Shanghai Clinic over in Burnley.

 

 

here’s a well know saying that goes ‘it now takes me all night to do what I used to do all night’. As the Aged Rocker’s years advance these words of humour become less humorous. But with some help from the Yellow Emperor, yin-yang and the five phases, certain bits and pieces now work as well as they ever did, Chinese medicine not so much a treatment more an art form. The other upside to using Chinese products is that the companies who manufacture the various oils, linctuses and pills still use traditional, old fashioned style packaging whilst some of the ornate and colourful paperwork tucked away inside the boxes is worth of framing!            

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

GLAD I DIDN’T

 

Here at Chez Aged Rocker it isn’t unusual to hear the delicate strains of AC/DC blasting out. Be it the vocal tones of the late lamented lead singer Bon Scott or his ebullient replacement Brian Johnson, ‘TNT’, ‘Highway to Hell’, ‘Back in Black’, ‘Shoot to Kill’ and more recently ‘Black Ice’ and ‘Rock or Bust’. All of them are cracking albums, ‘Black Ice’ one of their best, ‘Rock N Roll Train’ a track that typifies everything the band was and is.

And whilst the old AR regards ‘Rock or Bust’ as an album that comes nowhere near to those that went before, with the announcement of AC/DC’s ‘Rock or Bust’ tour it was cautiously decided that acquiring tickets for the Manchester leg were in order. Let’s face it this tour could well be their last so it was a case of now or probably never. To say that having not got round to buying them was one of the best things the AR didn’t do is one hell of a sense of relief. With Brian Johnson’s hearing under threat until his doc’s have dug around his lugs a bit more it might have been an idea if the band had postponed things.

On no, let’s fire ‘Our Brian’ after thirty years of being the gravel voiced front man and draft in ‘Fatsel Crows’. What a good idea since there’s every chance the loyal AC/DC fans won’t have a clue or even notice that the tub of past its sell-by-date lard croaking about on stage isn’t who it should be. Wrong, old Fatsel’s own come back hasn’t exactly been a roaring success so as to why someone things this 80’s has-been will cut it fronting AC/DC defies belief. G’N’R were great in their day so leave it that way!      

Since the band of Scottish origin formed back in 1973, from their raucous, raw beginnings to becoming the biggest rock band on the planet, AC/DC have done it all and taught the world how to do it and do it right. However, with one member under house arrest, another having lost the plot and the forced, irreverent and less than respectful departure of Brian Johnson it’s the AR’s opinion that AC/DC should call it a day if only to maintain their seemingly fast diminishing self respect.

If I’d gone as far as to buy a pair of tickets and made a bloody great dent in my wallet only to have been confronted by ‘Fatsel Crows’ there’s every chance I’d have walked out of the auditorium in complete disgust. Some bands such as the Rolling Stones and various members of the Beetles just won’t take the hint. Its high time all of these respected old rockers sat back, counted their millions and basked in the rosy glow of the music they made, the stadiums they filled, the epic shows they staged and the enjoyment they gave their thousands if not millions of fans. Could you imagine the horror and the outcry if Motorhead announced they were looking for a replacement for Lemmy? The Gates of Hell would open up for Beelzebub himself to pour demonic molten venom and vitriolic scorn on humankind. 

Equally, with the information or lack of it AC/DC and its management put out, it’s not so much a case of the show must go its more a case of it doesn’t matter what we do they’ll still come and spend money. Here at the Aged Rocker HQ we wish Brian Johnson all the best and hope that he’ll do something on his own. A voice that the Devil himself created for rock and roll and sheer entertainment, Brian should have been the new face of Top Gear, his previous motoring shows demonstrating his knowledge and passion for cars and racing. Instead just like AC/DC, fans are going to end up with another past their prime, half arsed front man that nobody’s interested in.

So take some advice from the Aged Rocker himself, bugger off and grow old disgracefully. We’ll all have far more respect for you than we have now and think back to the good times every time we spin an album and crank up the volume. There's plenty of new and talented rock bands out there looking for their break, a chance to prove themselves and start on the road to genuine rock and roll fame. If some of the old bands had any sense they'd make space for someone to take their place and make their way in the business just as they did. And yes, I’m more than glad I didn’t buy the tickets……!